Naked Mother Theresa Chip / Game Feast Fridays @ PETA / Bill Maher NOT Bill Maher?

Leeds, England – Restaurateur finds naked Mother Theresa chip

A Leeds restaurant owner discovered a chip in his kitchen which resembled a nude Mother Theresa, with one twist…the chip has a penis. When news leaked to The Vatican that the chip was placed on Ebay for sale, the Holy See issued a cease and desist order, demanding the chip be removed from the Internet under threat of excommunication. A Vatican spokesperson stated the entire incident could have been avoided had the Mother Theresa chip been anatomically correct. When asked for his thoughts on the matter, the Pope, who was out walking in the woods, said "poop".

Los Angeles, CA – Bill Maher admits he’s not Bill Maher

Talk show host and political pundit Bill Maher issued a statement Thursday that his real name is not Bill Maher, but Lane Maher, Bill Maher’s twin brother. Lane, a former strip club DJ and one-time psychiatric patient at the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts, said he’s been masquerading as his brother Bill since the debut of Politically Incorrect on Comedy Central in 1993. Lane went on to say that his brother – the real Bill Maher – is a member of the Roman Catholic missionary organization, White Fathers, which is based in Africa, and has taken a strict vow of silence for the last 10 years. When tracked down for his reaction to his brother Lane’s revelation, Bill replied, “It’s true. I’ve been sil…sonofabitch!”

Norfolk, Virginia – PETA holds “Casual Fridays” featuring wild game feast buffet

Ingrid Newkirk, international president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) stated the alarmingly decreasing numbers of vegan staff members has prompted her to institute a “casual Fridays” at PETA headquarters, whereby a catered wild game feast buffet featuring venison, rabbit and wild pheasant is provided at lunch to give staffers a break from eating vegetables, tofu and imitation brats and hamburgers. One staff member quipped, “You know I never thought I’d say this but even the rabbit tastes like chicken.”

- Special thanks to Richard Le Breton