Sling Blade, the TV series

Imagine that the movie Slingblade was syndicated into a TV series.
(You will have to compose your own music score...um)
The show's lyrics:

Got any biscuits for sale?
I don't care if they're stale...hmmmmm?

Potted meat and tatters.
Maybe some pickled T'matters. uuummmm...hmmm.

I won't be no bother to yee.
Myself, I sleep under a tree.

I reckon I got common sense for the secretary of state.
Lot better than John Kerry.
Poor little fella...

I know what the Bible says about them regions over yonder.
I'd scramble more aircraft carriers and reckon I'd have to
kill yee.

Better send an ambulance or a hearst.
Two men ought not lay down together.
I guess I'm fixin to kill yee,

I just got out of the nervous hospital, but they said
they'd keep my room waiting for me.
Got any mustard?

They don't have the faith in the good lord.
Cause I babtize sinners with my kaiser blade,
or some call it a sling blade.

I watched all the Seinfeld episodes,
I don't understand all of it, but I understand
a good deal of it.

But, my show, is really the show about nothin.
See ya at the Frosty Creme.
I reckon this is the end of the theme.

Nigel's End

This is the theme song for a fake TV show in which a British lady discovers on the eve of her retirement, her father Nigel has passed away and willed to her his only possession. His failing pub. Katie and I came up with the idea for the show and in a single evening had written the song. I arranged and played the music. Katie did all the vocal parts. We recorded it in about two hours and couldn't be prouder. We hope you enjoy Nigel's End.

Nigel's End

Time to slow down.
Time to slow down
Time to take it easy.

I can see my future on the horizon.
Something's happened and I'm needed at the pub.

Felicity Continued

I love the show Felicity, and the opening theme song always floods my heart with wonderful memories of the characters and their stories. In honor of the show I have written a second verse to the theme song!

Listen to the original song »here«

My verse:

Do you belong
Do you belong

After everything changes

New found friends
New found places

New memories
Being created

New version of me
I've found a new version of you

New version of me
I've found a new version of you

Life Lessons

The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning.
Greet your friends, smile and say “Hello!”
What’s this? You find your best friend is out to get you.
Have no fear; it’s soon over, don’t you know?

Life lessons come quick
Life lessons come easy
Life lessons come cheap
Life lessons easy peasy

The work day ends, get home hang up your keys.
Greet the dog; kiss your daughter on the cheek.
Through the door, find a car crashed through the kitchen.
Have no fear; it’s back to normal by next week.

Life lessons come quick
Life lessons come easy
Life lessons come cheap
Life lessons easy peasy

Life lessons come in many different ways
Life lessons come and go without a trace
Life lessons come in many different ways
Life lessons come and end with an embrace

So when you’re tired, the world is out to get you.
Sit down, relax, you’re the star of the show.
No matter what, the music starts to play soon.
Have no fear; remember now you know.

Life lessons come quick
Life lessons come easy
Life lessons come cheap
Life lessons easy peasy

Life lessons easy peasy

Life lessons easy peasy

June Topic: TV Theme Song Revival

"The Brady Bunch", "Happy Days", "Family Ties", "Friends", "Cheers", "Perfect Strangers", "Full House", "Mr. Ed", "Three's Company", "Gilligan's Island", "Beverly Hillbillies", "The Addams Family", "Sesame Street", "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", the list goes on and on.  TV theme songs bring instant nostalgia, can define a show, and make them live in our hearts forever.  The strange thing is, some of them never get old.

Nowadays, we have all but witnessed the death of the TV Theme song since so few current TV shows have memorable themes.  Some have been reduced to a single chord of music, or just a flash of the title on the screen.  It's difficult to define the loss to pop culture when TV stops cramming our heads full of classic songs like the theme to "Three's Company" (Come and knock on our door) or "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" (Yo homes smell ya later). But there is no doubt we have lost something special, something worth holding on to.

Your challenge (if you haven't guessed already):  Write the lyrics to a TV theme song.  Think of what made all your favorite TV theme songs great and channel that into a TV theme song of your own.  This can be for a completely made up TV show, or for an existing show that doesn't have a full-on theme song, think "Seinfeld", "LOST", or "Modern Family".  You can also put words to a show with an instrumental theme song like, "M.A.S.H.", "The X-Files" or "The Simpsons".  Or, you can even write an ode to the TV theme song incorporating some of your favorite lyrics of shows gone by. 

The important thing is, have fun with it!