Sling Blade, the TV series

Imagine that the movie Slingblade was syndicated into a TV series.
(You will have to compose your own music score...um)
The show's lyrics:

Got any biscuits for sale?
I don't care if they're stale...hmmmmm?

Potted meat and tatters.
Maybe some pickled T'matters. uuummmm...hmmm.

I won't be no bother to yee.
Myself, I sleep under a tree.

I reckon I got common sense for the secretary of state.
Lot better than John Kerry.
Poor little fella...

I know what the Bible says about them regions over yonder.
I'd scramble more aircraft carriers and reckon I'd have to
kill yee.

Better send an ambulance or a hearst.
Two men ought not lay down together.
I guess I'm fixin to kill yee,

I just got out of the nervous hospital, but they said
they'd keep my room waiting for me.
Got any mustard?

They don't have the faith in the good lord.
Cause I babtize sinners with my kaiser blade,
or some call it a sling blade.

I watched all the Seinfeld episodes,
I don't understand all of it, but I understand
a good deal of it.

But, my show, is really the show about nothin.
See ya at the Frosty Creme.
I reckon this is the end of the theme.