Gene Mix Up

Genetic engineers working at a high security lab in Geneva today admitted a
mix up of DNA between two donor cultures.
Dr. Herman Xerbothe, noted Nobel prize winner in 1996, admitted that
two distinctly separate vials of DNA from deceased donor, became inexplicably merged under bizarre circumstances.

"I didn't recognize it at first, but the donors samples were from the same Nationality.
Diametrically opposed philosophies at their base level, left alone, it presented a strange
attraction. The vials were in cryogenic suspension in separate buildings, but one one fateful
day, each vial was pulled and a small sample was taken to be rendered at just above the
freezing point of water."

Neither team of researchers knew of the others sampling proceedure.
The lab booths were some 300 meters apart from one another.

Xerbothe continues., "There was some decorum for the sample study on this date
pertaining to certain possible spectral characteristics of the DNA. Light analysis is becoming
more stylish at the cellular level as of late. Records illustrate that both samples were pulsed
by wide spectrum light at around noon of that day."

The question of how both samples appeared on the same lunch cart a half an hour later is
left unanswerable by both lab chiefs and food service.

"It's like the Manhattan Project losing a pound of Plutonium in a salad bar somewhere in
Los Angeles.", Commented Dept. of Death specialist for the NSA, Steven Bag.

Regardless, the event occurred and the vials, one lettered (E), the other (H), didn't simply
continue forward in isolated proximity.

Xerbothe., "At some point the vials were mistaken for salad dressings and added to the
salad of Kurt Russell, actor, who was visiting his daughter, an employee of this
laboratory. It went unoticed for weeks. The lab techs simply reaquired more samples
and went forward with a new set of analysis."

It wasn't until Kurt began experiencing incredible night visions of appocolyptic magnitude,
that an effort was made to trace the source of the problem.

"Look, we simply brought him in here and sat him down. It was very awful, the most awful
day I can remember. But, you try to explain that you have been made host to the raw
genetic matter of Albert Einstein and Adolf Hitler. Kurt just had a complete shit-fit.
So aloof from the Semitic and Anti-Semitic issues from the past, he was simply floored."

"God-damn, I've always prided myself on my detachment of politics and philosophy,
how in creation did I get cooked up together with these two extreme polarities?',"
Kurt explained.

His daughter, who has since resigned in disgust, claims that mankind has become the
penultimate tool.

Kurt, who has moved forward, reflects that this has become a useful asset to his
eccelectic acting career.

The Geneva Genetics Lab has been as of late, partying hot spots for
the likes of David Hasselhoff and Paris Hilton.

This is the BBC, London.