"Title"

I made the Madonna parody, and it does look like it gave me a "Posted by K.Grace" at the end. At least from my computer. Yours looks like it's connected to mine because you didn't create a "Title" for your post, which would have created a nice separator. I think that's what happened.

Mini Quest

Hey.....I love the Madona parody but it looks like my post and it isn't. There's no post signature. Inquiring minds want to know who the talent is behind this parody. Wish it were me, but I'm not that quick witted......yet!

I Ma-donned-a Song!

Any opportunity to make fun of Madonna's music, is heartily embraced by me.
I took "Lucky Star" and wrote "Junkie Car". The back story is that Madonna enjoys the show "Car Talk" on NPR, with Click and Clack...the Tappet Brothers. (I like that show. One of the brothers has a laugh identical to my grandpa's old laugh...so I always am reminded of him.) Anyhoo ... Madonna calls the brothers for advice ...

If you can't remember the melody of the song...please watch this video first. YouTube didn't allow me to post the original video for the song, so you're left with this version set to photos of the pop diva. It's so brilliantly bad! :)



Can you help me fix my car?
I'm sick of it not getting me far
I just called, because I love your show
Oh baby, please know ...

The headlights, don't shine
so I can't drive at night,
The alignment, is off
I'm drifting left and right ...

Do you hear my desperate call?
I feel I'm backed up, against the wall ...
I'm at my wit's end and I'm losing my hair
What knowledge, will you share??

The A/C, is hot
and I can't turn it off
My side mirrors, are shot
and I get hit a lot ...

I should have bought a foreign make,
That's the last time, I'll make that mistake

Oh, share your heavenly knowledge tonight!
Cool my engine, and clean out my pipes!

Triple A has saved my ass,
but I want to leave that in the past
The muffler's dragging on the road
I can't count the times this thing's been towed

Locate a heavenly body-shop tonight
Help me transform this sorrowful sight!

Oh, can you fix my junkie car?
I'm always impressed with how patient you are ...
I need a list of mechanics you know
please tell me, where do I go?

Will you help me fix my car??
Oh, Click and Clack of NPR ...
*My name is spelled, with an 'O' and two 'N's
Oh, how is this dilemma to end??


*If you've ever listened to "Car Talk" you'll recall that the hosts regularly ask how caller's names are spelled. So that's why I threw that in. OMG. I suddenly feel like Weird Al Yankovic. That is creepy...

Parody Parade

I'm up for the mini assignment. So many songs, so little time to make fun of them.

January's Post

Who hasn't had a turn? Step forth! Let's create some memories to last forever!!!!!!!!

Mini-Topic: Song Parody

I liked the idea of a song for the 100th post so much, that I'm suggesting we all write a Song Parody. Pick any tune, write any parody of such. What do you think? Due January 15!

Who's up for suggesting our Main Topic for January? Hmm?

Merry Christmas and a Better 2009!

To all of you! Write well and write much. And may we all "slay the beast" in 2009.

Embracing Cash

Dad: Y-y-yell-o?

Daughter: Hi, Dad, how are you?

Dad: All the better for hearing your voice.

Daughter: Do you have a coupla minutes for dream therapy?

Dad: For you, I’ve all the time in the world . . .

Daughter: I just had a dream about J. C.

Dad: Jesus Christ?

Daughter: No, Johnny Cash.

Dad: Was he dressed in black?!

Daughter: Actually, yes, but his black clothes were in sharp contrast to the white floor and decor. He stood in the front of a room, in the center of a smooth inlaid white circle, as if the outline of a spotlight had been traced there. But the floor was in no way raised up – he wasn’t on a stage. Although I didn’t see anyone else, he looked ready to address a group, and seemed to enjoy being on their level. Hey, I’m just remembering you were dressed in black when I dreamed about seeing you by chance in a coffee shop. Did that have any meaning? You never used to wear a black shirt – I don’t think you even owned one.

Dad: The black is a simple statement, a reminder.

Daughter: Of what?

Dad: That although we’ve crossed the fifty per cent line, we could do better, we must do better!

Daughter: The fifty per cent line?

Dad: Your lovely planet is now more light than dark, more love than fear . . . and only a conscious-full momentum on an individual basis will keep it heading in that direction. So did Johnny have his guitar slung across his back?

Daughter: No he didn’t have anything with him at all - no guitar, no microphone, no band. Just Johnny.

Dad: Just standing there?

Daughter: Yep, just like in yoga - mountain pose! He turned slightly toward me and smiled when he saw me approach. You know, you were smiling in that coffee shop dream, too . . .

Dad: The smile is a simple statement, a reminder of . . .

Daughter: . . . of 'love and laughter'? That's how you signed your photo! But what about Johnny himself?

Dad: Well, he certainly faced powerful addictions, and overcame them in the end.

Daughter: Gives me hope for all the addictive situations that have challenged me. He received and then created a world of hurt in his life, before he saw the light. It’s good to know he survives and thrives in spite of it all.

Dad: More accurately, because of it all! What about the spotlight?

Daughter: In the dream I was about to embrace Johnny, to enter that symbolic spotlight, but here I avoid the spotlight at all costs. I never seem to have anything to say.

Dad: You’re talking to me right now . . .

Daughter: True, I spoke in the dream, too. I was so incredibly glad to see Johnny that I didn’t hesitate to go right up to him and say, “What’re you doing here?” He replied, “What’re you doing here?”

Dad: Ha! He turned the tables on you, answered your question with your own question!

Daughter: I know, smiling all the while! As if he already knew his purpose, just standing there with an easy, confident peace. Maybe I should focus on “What am I doing here”. Hmmm . . . seems to be a recurrent dream theme.

Dad: Wait ‘til tonight’s dream!

Daughter: What? I’m calling you for dream therapy and now you’re giving me the impression that you yourself have something to do with creating my dreams in the first place?

Dad: Let’s just say, that in tonight's dream, you should be on the look-out for a little newborn babe . . .

Daughter: Jesus Christ?

Dad: Not exactly, but some might say . . .

Daughter: There are no babies in my life! In fact, there’s talk of having to face yet another imminent family upheaval.

Dad: You can get through it. Be patient, be patient. Remember . . . on an individual basis . . .

Daughter: I don't know how this time!

Dad: It's okay to not know!

Daughter: And you’re not here any more! Gone are the days when you could make everything better by the simple act of handing me your hankie! Oh! All those times! Were you . . . you were! You were just making a simple statement!

Dad: Yes! But you’re long past needing my handkerchief. In fact, you continue to be stronger than you think. Your sensitivity is not weakness! Just keep doing what you’re doing!

Daughter: What’s that?

Dad: Keep nursing, nurturing the gift of Divine Joy!

Daughter: Thanks for the reminder, Dad. And Merry Christmas.

Dad: Froehliche Weihnachten! Merry Christmas, dear heart.

winter solstice 2008

A Celebration

The return of light!
Monday will be the longest night of the year, and then we begin to see life return to the world...winter is a season which proves that we are indeed mammals, and it sometimes seems that the cold is trying to wipe us out. But we are survivors, just like the flower bulbs, tiny saplings, and this years' fawns. We need these holidays to get us through, to reflect, yes, to put up with our insane relatives. Their quirks make us family, blood or not. It is not the money spent, not perfect gift which matters, but the time spent together, and the connection we share with all things. Accept the blessings, trials, joy and sorrow of the school we term life. Love in the best way you can.

Answers to Riddles

1) All about, but cannot be seen,
-- Can be captured, cannot be held,
-- No throat, but can be heard.
-- What is it?

Answer: The Wind
________________________________________

2) In a marble hall white as milk
-- Lined with skin as soft as silk
-- Within a fountain crystal-clear
-- A golden apple doth appear.
-- No doors there are to this stronghold,
-- Yet thieves break in to steal its gold.
-- What is it?

Answer: An Egg
________________________________________

3) Pronounced as one letter,
-- And written with three,
-- Two letters there are,
-- And two only in me.
-- I'm double, I'm single,
-- I'm black, blue, and gray,
-- I'm read from both ends,
-- And the same either way.
-- What am I?

Answer: An Eye
________________________________________

4) You throw away the outside and cook the inside
-- Then you eat the outside & throw away the inside
-- What did you eat?

Answer: Corn on the cob
________________________________________

5) I fly, yet I have no wings.
-- I cry, yet I have no eyes.
-- Darkness follows me; lower light I never see.
-- What am I?

Answer: A Cloud
________________________________________

6) What is red and smells like blue paint?

Answer: Red paint

I want to congratulate Aunt Sue as she gave the correct answers for 3 of the 6 riddles (#1, #3, and #5). Wonderful job!!

A Short Story

Greetings everybody! I was just thinking about this experience I had some time back and I wanted to share it with you. I'm in the mood to write, I guess. This can be my contribution the the Ditalini Press 100 post celebration! Enjoy!

I remember laying in my bed looking out my bedroom window. Watching the big fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky, glistening in the street light. My favorite kind of snow. It was just before midnight and the street and the yard were already covered. I tried to hold back the tears, as I wondered what emotion I was actually experiencing. Was it fear, gratefulness, sadness, excitement?
I did not want the moment to end; the unknown was always my greatest fear. The inevitable changes were already set in motion and I think I saw the passing of the next day as the beginning of the end. It scared me, but I felt was ready.
Still I watched, now sitting up in bed; because I knew if I laid my head down I would go to sleep. I just wanted to savor the moment a little longer. I remember the words "thank you" running through my mind over and over as I watched the snow gently falling to the earth.
It was time to go to sleep, I wanted to stay up longer, but the peacefulness and beauty of the night was gently lulling me to sleep. I rested my head on my pillow and felt a tear roll down my cheek. The dawn will be here soon enough and I will wake up to my last Christmas at home.
I knew this Christmas was going to be very emotional for my mother. It was emotional for me too, but I was young and did not want to show it. She had always tried to make the day so special for my sister and I; and still does. The day flew by and that Christmas is such a blur to me now. But I will always remember that Christmas Eve night; sitting in bed watching the snow.

Scrabble Wars Infinity

FYI
Thanks to Susans' inspirational coaching, I have come to enjoy my Scrabble Wars format so much that I've started another blog entitled the same. If you enjoy the scary dialog between my daughter and I, you might get a chuckle out of some of the other get togethers! Ditalini Press rocks!

Celebrate the 100th Ditalini Press post with a Song, dangit!

I can't believe no one wants to grab the 100th blog post spot! I waited. And waited some more. Then I said, 'Fine. I will.'

I wrote this song (see below) for inclusion in my latest full-length play - a dark comedy called, "How To Kill A Boy". When I was a kid, I created the first verse below. Never got any further. I expanded the song from that point. It's a silly song and has nothing to do with the dark comedy I'm writing - but it does provide some levity between the protagonist and the individual he's butting heads with. And it was fun to write and sing - which makes sense in the context it's used in the play. I suppose it's sort of hard to appreciate it with the melody I have in my head, but...put your own tune to it and see how you like it.

I was inspired to finish the song after seeing the movie, "Juno". Contributing writer = Katie Anderson. (Thank you!)

“Two Men”

Two men
Livin’ in
A little house
By the waterfalls
Two men livin’ in
A little house by the falls
Making dolls

Oh-h…
Two dolls
Cornhusk dolls
Cost a buck, you see
That’s not for two, but a piece
Two men
Making dolls
Cornhusk dolls just a dollar apiece.

Oh-h…
makin’ dolls
tens of thousands of cornhusk dolls
That little house is a’buzzin’ with glee
price arisin’ – 20 bucks for each
Millionaires
A bigger house
by the falls with their nest egg of dolls.

(scat break – singing)

Two men
No more corn
And no more cornhusk dolls
(had to move back to that small-house-by-the-falls)
No more corn
No more dolls
If you were in their shoes
What would you do?

(no scat or singing, just instrumental, 2 - 8 counts)

Straw dolls.
Made outta straw.
The two men found a way to keep their million dollar ways going strong
Straw dolls
Diversified
That’s all I’ll tell
Not one word is a lie

Two men
Livin’ in
A little house
By the falls
Two men livin’ in
A little house by the falls
Making dolls

© Copyright 2008 Jeffrey James Ircink

Numerical Occasion

The next post made after this one will mark our 100th blog post for Dit. Press. Remember July 14th? That was when Team Ditalini signed the draft, and went into combat. Pencil to paper. Keypad to screen.

You all make me happy. Thanks.

10-minute play makes Semi-Finals in Sydney!

(Am I allowed to make random posts like this?)

Since this is a writer's group, thought you'd appreciate my news (particularly if you don't follow my blog, PASSION = TRUTH). My short play, "The Bed", was shortlisted for Short & Sweet/Sydney, the biggest little play festival in the world. 1000 entries whittled down to 300. They'll whittle further by December 15 - down to the finals which will be performed in Sydney over a month period, mid-January. 2009 to mid February. Had one in the semi's last year as well but that's as far as it got.

Here's my blog link on the news. If you're interested in reading, "The Bed", let me know and I'll get it to you. It's only 10 minutes. It concerns an elderly man's introspective look back at the various stages of his life - and the significance of his bed in each stage. No dialogue - all first-person narration.

HEY KATIE.....

I love the new look of Ditalini Press! Way to go!

Happy December

I hope everyone had a fantastic and meaningful Thanksgiving celebration this year. I thought I'd share with you a quote from author and speaker Seth Godin. I am a subscriber of his emails for marketing and business, and especially enjoyed the last one I read from him.


Thanksgiving

This has always been my favorite holiday. No gifts, no guilt, no doctrine.

For me, the holiday celebrates people who contribute with no expectation of anything in return. Online, the rules are no different. There are plenty of people typing as fast they can, all in expectation of what they'll get in return for that link or that shoutout or that flame. And then there are the superstars, the folks who have found a great platform for generosity.

Why be generous?

Why go out of your way for someone who can't possibly pay you back?

I hope the answer is obvious. It is to me. The benefit is in the fact that they can't pay you back. The opportunity to instruct or assist when you can gain nothing in return is priceless. It creates meaning and momentum and structure.

If you've been reading my blog this year, thanks for giving me the chance to teach.

If you've been helping at triiibes or Squidoo or on Twitter or on your blog or your social network of choice, and doing it without regard for repayment, thanks. We appreciate it more than you know.

And if you've dedicated your life to helping real people in real need, not just doing it when it's convenient, then you have my deepest thanks. It's not easy and it's not always fun, but it's vitally important and it matters. Thank You.

-Seth Godin

I have also created a new Dit. Press banner, you may have noticed. I wanted something a little bit festive. If you don't think it fits our vibe, please tell me. I'm delirious now from working on it so long. I can't tell anymore :)

Anagram Fun: Theresa Clare Evans

RARE ACTS SAVE HELEN

ETHEREAL CANVASSER
RARE HEAVEN CASTLES

HAS CLEVEREST ARENA
EARNER, HAVE CASTLES

REAL HEAVEN ACTRESS
REHEARSAL: ACT SEVEN
EVEN CAST REHEARSAL
ASL HEARERS EVEN ACT

AN ASL TEACHER - SERVE
AN ASL-VERSE TEACHER
HAVE TEN ASL CAREERS
THEN SAVE ASL CAREER
HAS CAREER - ASL EVENT
ASL EVENTS - EACH RARE
ASL EVENTS REACH EAR
HAVE ASL EARS CENTER
EVEN ASL HEARTS CARE
HAS REVERENCE AT ASL

Anagram Fun: Theresa Clare

CARS ELATE HER

THE CLEAR EARS
HEAR CLEAREST
TCE ASL HEARER
ASL THE CAREER
TEACHER RE:ASL
REAL TEACHERS
RELEASE CHART
A HEALER CREST
A CARE SHELTER
ASL CARE THERE

ETHEREAL ARCS
ETCH RARE SEAL
HEAL RACE, REST

CHASE REEL ART
EACH REEL ARTS
STAR EACH REEL
HERS A REAL ACT
REAL ACTS HERE
REHEARSAL ETC
SHARE REEL ACT