Monday, January 18, 2010

"self-portrait".


i feel the impact of my
eye injury in many ways
sadness, anger, bitterness
my self-confidence is not
what it once was
it's affected my acting
it's affected aspects
of my personal relationships

if i glance at my
favorite portrait of
myself as a child, i think
'where has that little boy
with the beautiful brown
eyes disappeared to?'
i wish he was here but
he's gone forever

i am loved
unconditionally
by many and yet
my injury won't go away
as an actor in an
industry where image
is god i feel i am at a loss
i wonder what strangers think?
'do they think i'm ugly?'
but i'm the same person
inside as i was before
how soon the strangers forget

i am surviving but
i'm forever haunted.

9 comments:

flutterby said...

Jeff. More than the injury to your eye, I empathize with the injury to your spirit caused by the injustice of your situation. When the responsible party has more than the adequate funds to compensate you and chooses instead to do nothing..... simply because she can.....well that truly is painful. Your self portrait pics really add to this piece. I wish you healing and more than that, I wish you justice.

Koya Moon said...

Jeff. What inner strength you have. I can't imagine seeing out of one eye. We all love you here! You're perfect the way you are. My favorite actors all happen to have some 'imperfection'. It's not about looks, thats for sure. But even so, you're handsome to boot. So, keep up the great work.

Jeffrey James Ircink said...

you know i thought i had posted this once before. otherwise, how would flutterby know the "injustice" done to me. sorry...but the January topic was too "on the head" to not do it. katie...you are loved by me.

Koya Moon said...

I don't remember that. It's possible you had. My memory is not serving lately.

Jeffrey James Ircink said...

it's the mad cow. i have it as well. comes and goes. SKOL FAVRE! SKOL VIKINGS!!!

Eva Marie Sutter said...

Nice photo arrangement! I think that you're interesting, jeff. You've got stories to tell. The world likes that. These bodies are going to get old anyway!

flutterby said...

It wasn't posted before on DP. Flutterbys simply know everything! LOL Honestly, I read a rant on your blog last year just before you moved back to my home state of Wisconsin. I've known a lot of injustice in my lifetime and your situation really touched a nerve in me. And Eva is right These bodies simply get old and worn out anyway.

J Power said...

It is moving to read such an honest and personal account. Great photographs to boot! The writing and the photos complement each other well.

Luke Leger said...

I'm glad you gave us such an honest account of your feelings, Jeff. I hope that your spirit is soon revitalized.