In this case, X is a man!
X was never for want. His parents always had enough money to offer X whatever he wanted. Evidently X had no time to spend in a mall even if it was easy to lighten his wallet that could be too heavy. X prefers walking in trash dumps, watching insects, smelling conifers, or sucking on licorice sticks. He is known in his community but he has not a lot to share with them. He's probably an in-the-moment anti-conformist even if it's not clever to be exposed as someone different.
X doesn't understand why he has to put on dark jeans when stonewashed jeans are more wearable and why he has to go to the barber to give himself and the barber a hard time with cutting his hair perfectly, always resulting in a fake gelled mess.
X thinks that some old people are not really wiser than teenagers and that stupidity is not a question of age but a question of conditioning.
That's the system for X! He thinks that everything can only be SYSTEMIC even if he doesn't understand this word and knows that if a dung beetle changes it's habitat, it's to find the same shit in another place.
X is in the system or out, he doesn't care.
Nights, X likes acting crazy during punk rock shows in the most dirty dives of the city to forget reality for a while, too much conventional! To drink a lot of beer and vomit on the wall to add more color to the gray walls around him looking like a kaleidoscope, X likes. He knows that carrots and egg salad add more contrast, beer helps it to stay on the wall for several weeks.
Sometimes X has to drink more beer than usual to totally disconnect from the crowd composed of some junkies with plastic cups in their hands and expensive skate shoes on their washed feet, showing off with the worst band making a ritual against society. X knows junkies who define themselves as REBELS because they refuse to wash their dad's truck when it needs to be shinier to make the neighbor jealous. He doesn't like watching the news. He prefers to ignore what could plunge him into a depressive state. He knows only that there are some great persons who nobody talks about who save lives, make proud, make clever, give pleasure, in accordance with their thoughts, even if they risk being out of INTEGRATION into the global way of life. X doesn't understand people who spend their youth burning their last neurons studying a profession that they will not like. X is
looking for a job that nobody wants. He has a CURRICULUM VITAE or 'Path of Life.' For him, 'Path of Lies' is more appropriate. He learned early to lie at school. It was fun for awhile but now he's sick of that.
One time, after a job interview, he peed in a plant pot, not by contestation but because he didn't find the toilettes. And yet, he asked the cleaner in the corridor who didn't answer after washing. He asked another employee in a hurry, hidden behind a pile of documents without an answer at all.
Sometimes he thinks that it could be easier to live away from the city, next to it, in the woods. The last time X was there, he saw a corpse of a hobo in a cabin that probably laid there for a long time. To see death was a shock for him, giving him feelings of impotence and resignation.
X decided to leave. He doesn't need money, he doesn't need a car, he only needs his mind. Now, he will occult all that he doesn't like and follow his inspiration, to be proud, to be useful, to be happy.
